I get no end of grief every November and December when I
write out my goals. I get everything from “I never write out goals
because I never do them!” to “I never do those
things…resolutions.” I have even been told not to bother – what
was the point? For me the point is simple and easy: to find out
more about me.

I have been writing out goals for almost twenty
years. These aren’t resolutions, as one person implied but goals –
things that I want to achieve throughout the year ahead. Sometime
around my birthday, which for me is the beginning of my year, I
pick up the sheet and see what I compliance according to what was
important to me at the time. It draws me back to the time when I
wrote them down, when I mused and pondered where my life was at.
What was important to me then? Is it still important to me now?

As I looked back on last years goals this past November, I thought
about where I was and what had happened to me throughout the year.
I think what struck me this year was the amount of things that
happened to me that I had not anticipated – farm more than any
normal year. What is normal? I am not quite sure anymore. My
business, Illumine Consulting, grew for sure and I began working at
a large company again. Never saw that coming. I now have three
cats, not two – that is a huge change for us! We bought house plans
for building a new house, eventually. House renovation to household
weddings, it was a busy year. Still, I felt like something was
missing.

Goals each year remind me about what I thought was
important and how I treated that priority. I think I have said for
years that travel was important to me but I never really did much
about that, albeit I have been to Colorado more times than I can
count any more. This year I have fought my lethargy to do something
about that. I think the thing I come away most with this year is my
overwhelming lethargy and apathy toward growth. This is so not like
me. Well, not like the me I have lived with for the past forty plus
years. There are times I would like nothing more than to lie down
and sleep for the next two years. Yet, I need to move and do. I
know I do. I don’t quite understand this overwhelming sense of
tired. It’s with all this on my soul at I write out my goals for
this year.

I didn’t finish them until January, which is also
unusual. I fought writing them down until I discovered what was
missing. A sense of humor. Forget tired and forget apathy. I wanted
to have some fun, damn it! So my goals are completely silly and not
specific. Once I found that missing sense of humor, I was able to
get everything out. I realized that i missing some fun. In the
seriousness of life, I think perhaps we all forget that, especially
as we get older.

So, I poked myself and laughed. Kicked my own
butt, as it were. Go see the world and laugh, Kris. Goal number
one: find out if the world really laughs with you. -TDD