Feeling kinda sad (even though I want to say groovy)

And tired. It seems as if it’s been a long month since I last wrote. I’m now staying at the “real” job for a while longer. New boss, new expectations. More work. I’m still on the 3 days per week but seem to be dying all the rest of the time.

The “REAL” job is rolling along, no pun intended. It’s tiring but moving at the pace it’s supposed to. There it is.

No, the real crux of the problem is that I feel…. like I’m waking up from something. My friend Tom said, “From what?” I said “I don’t know.” And I don’t. I just feel pregnant with opportunity and insight but I have no idea what it’s about. I feel sad about something but I have no idea what that’s about, either. It’s all so weird.

I miss my friends – the ones made along the way. I feel cut off and lost. The simple answer would be to go and find them. Ah, but is it ever that simple? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ve neglected people of time. They’ve remained in my heart but not in my calendar. Does this happen to us, now? No socializing outside our intimate few – the ones that see us day in and day out – because we’re too tired or too busy for the rest? What about family so many miles away?

I only feel like sleeping. And dreaming. And hoping that sometime very soon I wake up from the dream, whatever it may be.

-TDD

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