In an effort to assuage some of my recent anger at my fellow drivers, I’m dedicated to educating the world, nay, Californians, on some good manners when in your car. Please feel free to use any or all of these as they will make you much more endearing to your fellows on the road. They also make you a better human being. So please, dedicate yourself to just one. I promise that I will feel so much better.
1. A stop sign is not a suggestion.
2. The street is not your garbage can.
3. That little thing on the right hand of your steering wheel is called a turn signal. You use it whenever you have to make a decision and let the rest of the people around you know what that decision is.
4. The last time I looked, your car was not the neighborhood stereo system. While I appreciate your mother’s good sense in teaching you to share, I’m sure she didn’t mean your choice of music. With me. In my house.
5. When two people come to an intersection at the same time, the person on the right has the right of way. Really. Trust me on this one. If you’re across from each other, one hopes you can figure it out.
6. Everyone can tell that you’re on your cell phone. Everyone.
7. Eating, cell phone usage, yelling at your kids, and looking for the directions should all be actions conducted in the far RIGHT lane whilst on the freeway. Please don’t do it at 55 MPH in the far LEFT lane.
8. A Prius is an awesome vehicle. On the freeway, if you’re so inclined to do 55 MPH, please do it on the right. You can gloat all you want – from over there.
9. I’m voting for the politician who strikes the law that you cannot be in the left lanes unless you’re actually passing someone on the freeway. Just like Colorado. And Germany.
10. Finally, don’t get pissed off. Just figure it out; if you cut someone off, be prepared for the heat but you don’t need to be a prick about it. You who got cut off – get over it. It’s done. Getting angry just makes you drive crazy. And believe me, that’s just what the rest of us don’t need.